THE CHRISTMAS DONKEY

Now here’s an interesting article;

"Keys wish Kiwis a happy Christmas" [New Zealand Herald, 22 Dec 2016]

I haven’t written a blog specifically on John Key yet – I mean, where do I start?  There's too much material!  But this nonsense is a doozy worth making the effort.

"I love Christmas; it's a time of family and friends, a little bit of downtime and to get that work-life balance back into perspective," he says.

This one sentence alone demonstrates how out-of-touch this donkey is with the lives of real New Zealanders.  For many of us, Christmas is a nightmare.  We dread mulling around the shops sweating it out with the rest of the frantic proles, trying to find Christmas presents that fit into our limited budget.  And that’s only AFTER we’ve sworn at the idiot who’s stolen our parking space.

I’m not saying that I wouldn’t LOVE for Christmas to be the same as DonKey’s vision.  But frankly, he and his government ain’t makin’ it happen.  For many of us, Christmas is an hour glass, running out of sand while we try do all the USUAL things in our lives -  AS WELL AS prepare for Christmas.  

For some reason,  I can’t see DonKey swearing as he has to face the Christmas rush AGAIN, when he’s remembered a last minute Christmas present. I can’t see DonKey having to argue with one of the proles, that have stolen HIS parking space that he was about to reverse into.  I can’t see DonKey worrying that the postage of a present abroad is going to root his budget.  I can’t see DonKey having to choose the cheaper present, because the dearer one would smash his VISA bill next month.  I can’t see DonKey cooking Christmas dinner – can you?  In fact, I can’t even see DonKey putting up his own Christmas tree - unless there's a news camera team present.

It’s obvious from his Christmas message that DonKey lives in another world.  I rather think that he only has to issue instructions to the people he pays – and they do it all for him.   I rather suspect that DonKey has so many people running around after him, that it’s clear he’s never even had to use a hammer in his life.  Unlike the rest of us, living in real New Zealand.

"John Key Hammer Fail" [TVNZ One News, March 2015]

"Nailed it! Not... John Key admits: 'I'm no handyman'" [NZ Herald, March 2015]

"Asked if he was a home handyman, Mr Key said no. "Bronagh [Mr Key's wife] gets a man in. Don't worry about that." 

I don't know about you, but in my 16 years in New Zealand, I have learned more about DIY than in the other 34 years of my life.  Why?  Because I've had to.  I can't afford to "get a man in" any time there's a nail that needs hammering.

It’s fair to say that his wealth solves most – if not all – his Christmas woes.  So, I can’t see DonKey worrying about much at all at this time of year – hence his Christmas message.  And because he doesn’t have these worries, he doesn’t understand that the rest of us - living in real New Zealand – often DREAD Christmas.  

Of course DonKey loves Christmas – he doesn’t have to do any of the work that we have to do, in the insane run-up to the Festive Season.  This is why the man who supposedly governs us shouldn’t BE governing us – he’s completely out of touch with the “real New Zealanders,” he thinks he knows.

For us “real New Zealanders,” Christmas is a frantic end to an exhausting year of fending off the wolves and trying to make ends meet.  We don’t have any “downtime.”  And we don’t have the luxury of being able to pay people to put up the Christmas tree, buy the presents on the shopping list or cook Christmas dinner.  For most of us, we have to do all these things ourselves.  For many of us – and I’m luckier than those further down the ladder  – DonKey’s message is a painful reminder that Christmas is actually a time of deadlines, stress and financial hardship

Yes, Christmas is great if you don’t have to worry about time or money.  How many of us living in real New Zealand are relieved of that burden?