THE JOYS OF THE CALL CENTRE HOLD

Now here’s an interesting link;

http://www.vodafone.co.nz/contact/

 

“We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help answer your questions.

We have a large customer care team based across New Zealand and in the Philippines. Our team is representative of the many cultures that make up New Zealand.

At Vodafone, we are committed to providing the best customer service, and each team member is fully trained to help you with any questions you have about any of our products and services.”

Well, I phoned Vodafone today.  They are now my landline provider, having bought out Telstra Clear, here in New Zealand.  I wasn't getting a particularly good deal on my broadband package (IMHO), so I wanted to see what options are out there.

So I pressed "1, Sales Inquiry" rather than "2, Your Account."  Strangely enough, I got through to the sales department straight away.  But sadly, it was the wrong option; I needed to be put through to "Your Account."  Well, guess what I’m told by the automated message?  “There is a heavy load on our call centre, and there may be some wait.”  **  sigh  **   

I gave up after 10 minutes, when the speaker-phone function ran down my mobile battery.

So let me get this right, Vodafone:  if I’m not a customer, and want sales information to BECOME a Vodafone customer, I can talk to someone straight away.  If I’m ALREADY a Vodafone customer I have to WAIT to talk to someone.  So, logically, existing customers are less important to Vodafone than non-customers.  

So, before I join Vodafone, I’m prized and really precious.  I’m chased and pursued, like a fresh new girlfriend.  But once I’m hooked, once I’m in bed, I’m an inconvenience.  I become a nuisance; like an unwanted, old girlfriend or awkward one-night-stand.  You’ve got what you want from me.  So once I become a Vodafone customer, I have to wait in line at the call centre.

I have a friend who has a favourite phrase; “Capitalism loves consumers.”  My experience with Vodafone proves him wrong.  An American business consultant once said that call centres are employed by bad directors of bad companies, so they don’t have to speak to their disgruntled customers.  The Yank’s right; the corporations have won  . . .  **  heaviest sigh  **